Barbie Taylor Loft and the 3 Story Dream House

12. 
Katie wants me to play Barbies--she wants me to play all the time.   But I am terrible at it. 

My Barbie wants to say to Ken, "Seriously, a date, now? Who's going to nurse the baby? And, I don't even have an outfit that fits!"  Or to her best friend Raquel (who happens to look just like her but brunette? I am still confused by this.), "I can't possibly shop at Barbie Taylor Loft today--it isn't in my monthly budget.--What's that you say? Let's just go for a drive in the pink convertable and visit?  Are you aware that most of the world's population doesn't understand the perils of antibiotic resistance? I must plan lessons for my science class.  Besides, gas is $4 a gallon! No, No, there is no time to just visit today!"  Or to Ken when comes home from work, and brings in the mail--"the mortage? Already?? Oh, Ken!  Why did we have to buy this 3 story dream house?"

See how this is a major parade rainout for Katie? I don't understand what happened to my ability to play. I believed with every ounce of my childhood body that I could grow up to be Wonder Woman.  I turned under-roos, hay twine, and a pair of yardsale boots into an authentic Wonder Woman uniform.  I got lost for hours in make believe worlds--in those worlds I could solve any problem because no one and no thing was telling me otherwise.

Am I just so submerged in reality that my spark of imagination was extinguished? Well, I need to exercise my imagination--probably lots of us parents do.  When Katie gets home from camp today I am going to play without seeing the "boundaries" reality has introduced me to.  I am going to let Barbie, Ken, and their twin babies see solutions instead of dilemmas.  Maybe I'll even learn something in the process......I'll keep you posted!

Imagine, Pretend, Play, and Create!

What he Wants

11. My Grandaddy Sanders died when I was pregnant with my oldest in 2002.  When he died he had been married 62 years to my Grandmommy.  I need to remember the advice he gave me about marriage--he said, "Anna, love each other.  Even when it is hard.  Work to make each other happy--sometimes do what he wants instead of what you want. Sometimes he should do what you want instead of what he wants.  Try to out-give each other."  That's about the best marriage advice I've ever heard--except maybe for Grandmommy's--the very same day she said, "Anna, let him be right, sometimes."

Learn to Love to Save!

10.  Just took my 8 year old, Chip, to the bank to open his first savings account.  He had a crisp $10 bill and 16 quarters.  The teller showed him how to fill in his register, explained how his account could earn interest, and gave him a sticker.  He is now officially on fire for saving money.  If only I'd gotten the bug that early (or anytime prior to 2010 if I'm being honest!)...my financial picture would be so different than it is now.  We are struggling to dig out of consumer debt, pay off student loans, and build a nest egg.  Well, here's what I've learned and what I need to remind myself constantly---every paycheck, put a little back.  Putting a lot back isn't reasonable, because it leaves too little for the monthly bills and can lead to falling back on the credit card.  But doing a little--you hardly miss it, and it grows faster than you think it would!

When in doubt clean it out!

9. Be happy in all of your spaces.  The spaces you mother in, drive in, work in, and live in.  Different than the metaphorical spaciousness of summer, but equally as important, is the true spaciousness of your setting.  Sometime after my 2nd child was born and while I was agonizing over my dissertation I let this slide...then during my last pregnancy, I reclaimed it.  The crazy nesting hormones and the freak blizzard which resulted in a week of school being closed helped me clean up and clean out.  Oh all the energy I was wasting navigating around unecessary baggage (I am talking about physical clutter here, but there will be time to write about mental clutter as well)!  I am not doing that again--don't use it-get rid of it!  Might use it, but aren't sure when-get rid of it!  Know when and for what you will use it-store it in a clear container so  you can find it when the time comes! When it doubt clean it out!

Build in Spaciousness

8.  I had a great visit with my friend Mattie yesterday, and as we caught up we discussed the spaciousness of summer (her term and I love it!).  Summer can feel different-if we let it.  There can be times when it is OK to watch a few more minutes of a movie, sleep a bit later, stay at the pool longer, skip the bath....etc, but we have to make having those times a priority.  If we don't, it is too easy for summer to feel as hectic as every other time--and the whole family needs a break from that franticness of the school year.

On a Bounce

7.  People always ask, "how do you do it all?"  From the outside there is an illusion that I have it all together--you know fabulous husband, rewarding career, lovely children--my life is wonderful-but it isn't simple.  I love all I do, but it is hard and I always feel pulled between the dimensions of my life.  If I'm at work--what am I missing at home?  If I'm at home, will I ever catch up when I get to work?  It's a never ending tug of war.  I have learned one thing-when you juggle (aka too many balls in the air) sometimes you have to catch one on a bounce.  And you know what? It's Ok!

Make Your Bed!

6.  Get up early and make your bed!  Because the day really does go better when you do!

Be Nice to Yourself!

5.  Talk nicely to and about your body.  Go to yoga and listen to your body! So you don't look like you did in college.  But what marvelous things your body has done including birthing and feeding 3 babies!  Talking about how you wish it was different just showcases your vanity and communicates to your children that appearances are your focus.  Focus on the gifts your body has given you and maybe you will naturally want to take better care of it!

Free Time--Keep dreaming

4. Stop waiting for a free HOUR to scrapbook, write thank you notes, exercise, work on that letter of recommendation, nap, or whatever.  Free hours happen once a decade when you're on a kids free vacation with your husband.  Instead, try to be industrious with just a few minutes. 10 minutes of exercise is better than none, a 5 minute cat nap can change your outlook, and getting one note done a day is better than waiting to do them all in the mythical free hour. There is that saying, "life happens when you're making other plans."  There should be another saying, "The to do list just gets longer as you wait for the RIGHT hour to get started."  Jump right in, be productive, and feel better.

Grandmommy Says

3.  Remember, Grandmommy who is 91 and still going strong says, "Take it one day at the time."  Internalize that and realize it is not just about days.  Losing weight? One pound at a time. Paying down debt? One dollar at the time. Struggling to handle work, marriage, nursing a baby, parenting 2 older children, and keeping a house? One task at the time.  When you look at the franticness of life--it is enough to make anyone feel anxious, defeated, and overwhelmed.  Focus on what you can do--and what you are doing that moment and leave the big picture to God.  And remember the Scripture:

30And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God* above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.


Matthew 6:30-34

Mama Rule

2.  Remember when you got so sick after Katie was born?  Remember all the orphans you see in Haiti?  When the kids are driving you nuts...take 3 deep breaths and remember that every moment with them is a gift, and that you are lucky to be alive and able to Mother them!

This gal's simple Rules to Being Better

1.  Stop and realize how good you have got it.  In other words, count your blessings.  You can't reach your full fabulousness if you are stuck in "poor, pitiful me" mode.  If this is hard for you to do think SERVICE--go and find someone who needs help.  Get outside of yourself and you will gain perspective.

Check out my gratitude journey at Blessings 365